


its born from just one single glance

by MaddieandChimney



Series: Meet Cutes [18]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, College AU, F/M, Shh, i'd say she watches too much criminal minds but this is set in like 2005 so probably not, maddie might be a little dramatic, meet cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28117044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: Getting into the car of a stranger who seems to know her? Definitely not her brightest idea and maybe her little brother was right, maybe she's going to die in New York and she should have just stayed in Hershey like her parents had said. But it's hard to regret it when she can feel butterflies in her stomach and her cheeks flush the more he talks, and the more he looks at her.Maybe it's crazy.Maybe it's fate.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Meet Cutes [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927492
Comments: 19
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jessie2126](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessie2126/gifts).



It was just a stupid argument.

That’s what she keeps telling herself, the words repeating in her head over and over again as she holds her heels in one hand and walks down the empty street. It’s two in the morning and maybe (definitely) she shouldn’t be walking home alone in the badly lit streets of lower Manhattan. It was _just_ a stupid argument, and she couldn’t quite believe the man she was currently dating would just leave her to get home alone after a party but there she was. A little tipsy, completely alone, walking down the quiet, dark streets of New York, her hand clutching onto the pepper spray her younger brother had given her before she went to college.

She tries not to let her imagination run wild when there’s a group of three men, probably not much older than her, standing at the bottom of some apartment building steps in front of her. She’s from a small town in Pennsylvania, the kind where nothing ever happened and when it did, everyone knew about it. The kind of place where she could walk around at midnight with her friends and never think anything bad would happen to her. And now she was in a city that her brother had reeled off all sorts of statistics to her before she’d left about how dangerous it could be and how she couldn’t leave her door unlocked anymore and she had to watch her back.

It was just a stupid argument because she had taken a drink when someone had offered which apparently was against some sort of _stupid_ rule her… not even boyfriend because they’d been on three dates… had made up without telling her.

Maddie lets out a huff at the thought, her eyes flicking between the men who have now noticed her and the other side of the street. Self-preservation should definitely come first but there’s still a part of her that doesn’t want to be rude. They might have bad intentions, they might just be wondering what she’s doing wandering the streets alone at this time, they might offer to help or… her hand clutches a little tighter at the pepper spray and her heart thumps harder against her chest until she makes the decision. Even if it seems rude, better safe than sorry, right?

She doesn’t dare look at them, ducking her head down until her hair covers her face before she crosses the road, trying to tell herself it was only another twenty minutes or so until she was back home and then she could forget the entire night even happened. Maybe she shouldn’t see Doug anymore, maybe she should leave it at three dates and consider it a lesson learned. She was in college, did she really want to get tied down by someone anyway? She had always done better alone, dating was just… it was what people expected of her, it was normal, even if she had little to no interest in it.

“Hey, where you going?” Maddie frowns when she hears the voice, forcing herself to walk a little faster, wondering what kind of man… what kind of _person_ would just leave her standing in the middle of the street with no way of getting home because it had just been a house party, she hadn’t thought to take anything of any importance with her like money and ID. Wonderful. Really well thought out, she thinks to herself, groaning as she tries to pick up the pace. Her thirteen-year-old brother had told her this would happen when she’d first said she was leaving the safety of a small town for big city life.

This is how she’s going to die, this is seriously how it ends because of some pathetic argument she’d had with a man she doesn’t even like very much and most definitely doesn’t like now because he’d driven off without her and there’s no excuse. There’s definitely no excuse if she _dies_ for his temper. She takes a breath, (dramatically… slightly) wondering if it’ll be her last until the sound of a new voice fills the otherwise silent street. “Hey, Maddie! Maddie!” It’s not a voice she recognises but it’s someone who must know her, “Get in.” She looks up in confusion, seeing a familiar voice poking out of a car window. She’s seen him in a few lectures, she’s sure he takes notes for another student but they’ve never spoken before and she has no idea what his name is. She doesn’t know him but her fate doesn’t look too good either way when she turns to look behind her at one of the three men who’s just a few feet away. It’s an easy decision, even if slightly more familiar stranger could drive her to the middle of nowhere and kill her there. Evan’s voice echoes in her head, begging her to just stay in Hershey where it was _safe_. What was so special about Pace University anyway? Penn State was good, too.

Maddie practically runs to the car, sliding into the passenger seat before he presses on the gas and she can say goodbye to whatever hell she could have endured and hello to whatever hell this would be instead. Maybe her brother was right, maybe she was too cautious and too dramatic to be living it up in New York. “I’m Howie, I sat behind you a few times in Anatomy?”

She nods, as though she already knew that (she absolutely did not) but hey, maybe if she pretends to know him he won’t kill her. He doesn’t look like a killer but did she really know what one of those even looked like? God, she wishes her parents had let her watch those serial killer documentaries her friends used to talk about in high school. “Are you okay? I-I saw you at the party and then…” The way he glances at her shows more concern than her ‘not boyfriend’ had ever given her, her shoulders slumping as she gently plays with a piece of thread on her dress as her fingers lightly tremble.

“Were you following me?”

“No! God, no… I was just dropping off a friend who had far too much to drink. Do you live downtown?” She nods her head, “So do I.” It’s the first time she looks up at him, smiling a little at the button up shirt that’s far too formal for a college house party. He’s handsome, his eyes are kind and he has a little stubble that extenuates his jawline in the best way possible.

“You’re not drunk?”

“Designated driver.” He’s quick to reply, a smile on his lips when he looks at her, hands firmly on the steering wheel, and she feels herself relaxing into the seat, looking at him. “What happened to your boyfriend?”

He must have noticed her, enough that he knew she was with someone at the party that night but not enough to know that it wasn’t quite that serious. “He’s not my boyfriend. Just a boy pretending to be a man.” It’s with a casual shrug of her shoulders that she scrunches her nose up, “Shouldn’t have gotten into the car with him anyway, he wasn’t so sensible.” There’s that naïve part of her starting to creep in that truly believes in fate, wondering why she hadn’t noticed the man before. But then, when she’s in lectures she puts all her focus into what’s going on, an avid notetaker in her bid to be the perfect student. Her parents were still far too invested in her education, with the caveat that they were paying for it so they absolutely had every right to interrogate her every step of the way. She had to be perfect, she’d already ‘betrayed’ them by going out of state to a non-ivy league school.

“Well, if I knew I would be having such precious cargo in my car, I’d definitely volunteer as designated driver, always.”

It’s with a giggle that she shakes her head, the nervous smile from before turning into a confident grin, “Did you just call me cargo?”

The question is enough to cause his cheeks to flush in the most endearing way possible, a feeling of fluttering in her stomach that she’s not felt since Larry Saunders asked her to prom. “I-I meant… you’re beautiful.” Something she’d heard a thousand times before, in the least self-absorbed way but it seemed to be the _only_ thing anyone ever liked about her. He must pick up on the sudden change in the mood because he chews down on his bottom lip before he tilts his head towards her when the car comes to a stop at a red light. “And intelligent, and kind—and probably a million other amazing things.” She wonders if it’s possible for him to be as red as the reflection of the light shining through the window right then, a laugh falling from her lips once more before she looks out the window, pouting when she realises they’re almost at her building.

“It’s just this one on the right.” She points, waiting for him to pull up before she takes a breath, gathering a whole new level of confidence she’s not sure she’s ever shown before, “Would you like to come up… for coffee?” They’re both consenting adults, right? And her night had started off awfully and if she could end it on a good note, then maybe things wouldn’t seem so hopeless and maybe she wouldn’t be regretting the big move out of state, away from everything and everyone she had ever known.

The engine cuts off before she can even finish the sentence, watching as he moves out of the car, bounding towards her side with a lop-sided grin on his face when he opens the door for her, hand moving to settle on her waist when he helps her out. “Coffee? At this time of night?” His tone is teasing, a light in his eyes that makes her laugh, tilting her head up when her chest presses against his, as his other hand moves to run through her long, curled hair, her dark eyes meeting with his.

She almost laughs at how just ten minutes before she’d been accusing him of being a killer in her own head and here she was, unable to deny herself the attraction of a man who actually seemed genuine and nice and… decent. She was twenty-years-old, this was what the college experience was meant to be like, right? Clandestine meetings and immediate sparks. The kind that leads her to place her hand in his, stepping back with a grin on her face as she pulls him with her, using her other hand to brush her hair behind her ear when she feels her cheeks starting to flush with the sudden doubt.

At least until his hand moves to her lower back as they walk and he opens the door for her – a small gesture, but one she’d witnessed her dad do for her mother a hundred times over but no one had ever done for her. “Where are you from?” He finally asks, and she wonders if he’s just trying to make small talk whilst they make the short walk to her apartment but the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice seems genuine enough.

“Pennsylvania… I’ve always wanted to live in New York and college seemed like my best chance and it’s not so far out of state that my parents had a coronary when I told them. They’re… protective.” Controlling is what she really means but she can’t go into her family drama with a man she’s barely known for all of fifteen minutes, shrugging her shoulders as she digs her keys out of her bra with an embarrassed flush of her cheeks (she really hadn’t wanted to take a bag she could lose so easily). “How about you?”

“LA. Well, Korea originally but we moved to LA when I was five. New York seemed like the great escape.” He holds open her apartment door for her too before she steps inside, smiling at him when he actually walks into the kitchen just a few steps away and points towards the kettle, causing her to nod her head. Actual coffee had not been her original intention but suddenly, she wants to know more about him, leaning over the kitchen bar as she gives him a few directions to find the mugs and then the coffee, watching him as he gets to work.

“That’s one hell of a move.”

“Korea to LA or LA to here?” Howie’s eyes meet hers when he looks up and she feels her heart thumping at the way he smiles, and the way his cheeks seem to flush whenever he looks at her, a slight embarrassment in his eyes that forces her to look down as she giggles.

She shrugs, “Both… I thought moving about five hours away was bad enough but—don’t you miss home?”

“There’s not really much to miss other than places… home is what you make it, right?”

Maddie finds herself looking up, sliding herself onto the bar stool when she nods her head, staring at the back of his head for a second as he pours them both a cup of coffee, “Right.” She whispers, realising that nowhere had really felt like home before, smiling when he slides the mug over to her and she wraps her cold hands around the warmth. “What are you studying?” She could listen to him talk all night, the slight husky tone of his voice, the way his eyes light up when he does and the little tilt of his head he does when he seems to be thinking about his answer.

She’s barely known him any time at all and all she can do is think about how she wants to know him more. Crazy? Probably. Yet, the easiest, most normal feeling she thinks she’s ever experienced? Absolutely.


	2. Chapter 2

Coffee is all she needs right then. Just… a hot latte to try and make herself feel a little more human and a lot less zombie. College was every bit as exhausting as she had thought it would be but she knows it’ll be worth it in the end. All she’s ever wanted to do is help people and as much as her parents had seen it as a downgrade, that she would go into nursing instead of something more, something ‘better’, more prestigious. But whilst she had been good at school, she had never truly exceled at anything outside of performing arts and nursing had just… always made sense to her.

College had solidified that idea. The fact that she had gotten into Pace University was enough of a reason to make sure she worked her ass off at everything she did. And with her parents breathing over her shoulder at all times anyway with the reminder that they held the pen that signed the cheques and made college a possibility for her, she had no choice but to be perfect. It’ll be worth it though. Helping people, saving lives, financial independence… it would all be worth it in the end.

If she could get some coffee inside her first because she was functioning on three hours sleep after a late night finishing an assignment and she had to get to the library to try and get her head down and focus on the next deadline. “Cinnamon coconut macchiato with a quad shot and a half pump of vanilla, please.” God, she thinks she’s just gotten a cavity or five and heart palpitations just thinking about that. No one else other than a college student would order such a… can she even call it a drink? Not to mention it’s going to take longer than the average coffee to make and all she’d wanted was a latte.

She shouldn’t say anything at all, and maybe she usually wouldn’t but what kind of nurse would she be if she didn’t at least point out that the person standing in front of her was probably well on their way to some serious health issues or at least some dental issues if it was a regular thing. “Have you told your insurance company about your coffee order?” It comes out snarkier than she intended, an eyebrow raised as her arms fold, quickly dropping when he turns around and she recognises him.

As embarrassed as she looks, he matches her in smugness as her cheeks flush a dark shade of red and he smirks at her. Maddie watches as Howie tilts his head to the side, looking her up and down as he does. “I haven’t, do you wanna give them a call?” He’s holding out his phone to her with an amused look on his face as he does, causing her to scrunch up her nose as she shakes her head.

She’s sort of mad at him, even though she has an on again, off again thing going with someone else. The night they had met had been nearly a month ago now and despite the fact she thought they had a great night together, she hadn’t seen or spoken to him since. She hadn’t seen him on campus and he hadn’t gotten her number. He’d completely blanked her. He had saved her life (that’s how she tells the story anyway), they’d spent hours talking before they had kissed and… kissing had led to a whole lot more until they had woken up at midday and he had practically been running from her apartment because he was late for a meeting.

That was college, right? One night stands that meant nothing to either people involved? Even if she had truly believed they had some sort of connection that her friends had told her was just her dreaming something up because he had come to her rescue when her not-boyfriend had abandoned her. She had a tendency to get attached, she supposes, too much which is why she kept going back for more with Doug because just letting go of something that could be real seemed too difficult Her parents would love him – he was older, a resident at the hospital she had started her clinical training at. He was from an upper class family, the kind her parents would approve of and he was attractive physically. Personality wise? Not so much but—she guesses she has a hard time being completely alone. She enjoys being single, just not… _lonely._

“Here, let me get yours, too.” He’s wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her towards the counter, next to him and she should say no, she should push him from her and tell him to go to hell but the least he owes her is a coffee considering how bashful he appears to be after using her.

“I’ll have a latte… skim milk, please. Largest you got. He’s paying.” She’s embarrassed, but she tries not to let it show as she bites down on her lip, the tremble in her voice giving her away because his hand is still on her lower back and how dare he? They have a great conversation, amazing sex and then radio silence, until he’s standing in front of her acting as though no time has passed at all or as though what happened didn’t matter at all. And it doesn’t, clearly, not to him and it shouldn’t to her because even though she and Doug aren’t exclusive, she hasn’t told him about Howie either. She’s twenty-years-old and a Sophomore in college, she has a billion other things to focus on rather than some guy who picks up girls in the middle of the night. “And he’ll tip you, too, for his awful coffee order.”

The barista laughs and as she tilts her head to look at him, he’s grinning at her as though she wasn’t being at all offensive and maybe he just hasn’t got the hint. Or maybe he just cares so little about what she says about him or how she thinks of him. Still, she watches as he digs the money out of his wallet and then pops a few dollars in the tip jar, smirking at her as he does before they move further down the counter and his hand drops from her back. “Have you been avoiding me?” She finally asks, breaking the silence that falls between them and even though they’d only spent one night together which accumulated to only a few hours, there had been no awkward silence between them unless she counted the silence when her apartment door slammed shut after he had kissed her and told her he would see her soon.

“Uh, well, kinda, I guess?”

Honesty should feel good but instead, it hurts, chewing down on her lip, stepping forward to take her drink when it’s placed on the counter. She hates how she feels it a little too deeply, wishing she had never gone to the stupid party in the first place, “Okay then, thanks for the coffee, I guess.”

Whatever, not every guy she was going to meet was going to want to have anything to do with her and really, his loss, right? That’s what she tries to tell herself as she practically runs out of there, scolding herself internally for how mortified she was that she had even bumped into him in the first place. She’d never had a one night stand before, maybe that was the problem. Maybe it was because he was only the fourth person she had slept with and everyone else had been someone she had known, someone she had been on dates with and had seen more than once after.

“Why are you upset?” She hadn’t even known he was falling her, looking at the coffee cup in his hands with a frown before she shrugs her shoulders. “I saw you on campus the day after with that guy from the party, I figured it would be best not to get in the way of whatever you’ve got going on there.” That’s enough to stop her from walking, her heart clenching when she thinks back to Doug waiting for her after class with some flowers and an apology and her just politely accepting with a kiss on the cheek. Her best friend had spent the entire night calling her an idiot and she completely agreed but there was this innate desire drilled into her by her parents, probably, to please everyone and that wasn’t limited to people who deserved her kindness or her patience.

“I told you that he and I aren’t a real thing… he was just apologising for being an asshole.”

“He left you to walk home on your own, tipsy, in New York.” Chimney quips, a look of disgust on his face that she has no idea if it’s aimed at her, at Doug or just at the situation but she takes a step back anyway and shakes her head, feeling the unbridled defensiveness wash over her as she stares at him.

“And it’s my decision if I choose to forgive him or not, not yours. At least he had the guts to come and talk to me, you’ve just been avoiding me for weeks.”

She watches as he lets out a huff, his eyes narrowing in a glare as he looks at her, “I was trying to do the right thing. I’m not breaking up you and the doctor, besides… look at him and then look at me, I think we both know how this story ends.”

Maddie practically snarls when he tries to walk away, fingers wrapping around his upper arm, gripping onto him tightly as her own glare settles on him, “You don’t get to decide how _my_ story ends. How do you know what I want?”

“I don’t—”

“Right. Because you just assumed, but you know what, fuck you. I hope the sugar in that drink rots your teeth.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder, shooting him her best snarky smile before she walks off, slamming her teeth down onto her bottom lip until she can taste blood, in an attempt to stop herself from bursting into tears.

She had only gone in for a caffeine hit and now she just wishes she hadn’t bothered leaving her bedroom. Whatever, she finally tries to tell herself, she had better things to do than let any male-led drama get in the way. Wasn’t this meant to be the _fun_ part of her life? She frowns as she pushes open the door of the library, taking a sip of the coffee as she does. She has better things to do than waste her time or attention on anything other than assignments and clinical assessments. She’s not going to let any man get in the way of that, no matter what.


	3. Chapter 3

Maddie is two minutes late, which by her standard, is twelve minutes late because she’s always the first in and the last to leave. She can feel the stress starting to build as she rushes to find an empty seat and of course, of _fucking_ course, it’s right next to the one person in the world she doesn’t want to see right then. And he still has all his stupid teeth. His perfect, stupid teeth.

She lets out a huff as she sits down, setting her phone in front of her, ignoring the fifth text from Doug after a slight misunderstanding about the two of them going to a concert tonight. He’d thought it would just be the two of them but she had explained (and not for the first time, but she tries not to be bitter about that) that her friends would be there, too. It was stupid and he was tired and she was tired and she didn’t particularly want him there in the first place but they had bought these tickets weeks ago, so whatever. He and Josh would end up having an argument and the night would probably end early anyway but at least she could get him to get her a few drinks in the meanwhile.

Concentrating, it turns out, is going to be harder to come by today than she had expected. Chimney hasn’t said hello to her, which of course, she doesn’t expect considering the last time she had seen him had been her storming off and really, he should consider himself lucky she needed the coffee she had been holding at the time otherwise it would have been on the very nice shirt he was wearing right then. But she can’t help but watch him out of the corner of her eye as he so diligently takes notes, occasionally looking up to answer a question or check on the person he must be taking notes for next to him.

Maybe he’s not one hundred percent asshole, just… eighty. Maybe. Seventy at a push. He’s being sweet to the girl on the other side of him and she’s not jealous but… maybe it hurts a little. Maybe that’s stupid because they had only ever had one amazing, long conversation and then an argument. But sometimes, she can still feel the way his lips had traced down her body, she can still feel his teeth grazing along her collarbone and hear the moans from his throat that—she most definitely should not be thinking about in the middle of class, gripping onto her pen a little tighter as her cheeks flush.

Her eyes glance over to him again, for probably the hundredth time, much to her own frustration and whatever the hell he’s done to her, she hates him for it. She hates his soft, black hair that’s a complete mess right then, in stark contrast with the suit he’s wearing – a light blue shirt with tight fitting pants and what student even wears a suit to sit in lectures all day? God, she _hates_ him. He looks up at the girl next to him and he smiles and she hates that, too. And the way his tongue pokes out between his lips when he’s concentrating, yeah… she _loathes_ that because she can remember when his tongue was doing other things and she curses whatever joke the universe is playing on her because of all the seats on all the days, it just had to be him and now.

At least she’s being subtle, she supposes, chewing down on the pen between her lips when she tilts her head to look at him once more, before looking back down at her notebook. At least Josh, her roommate and best friend, was in the class which means she can steal his notes later and catch up on whatever the hell she has missed because her mind won’t turn off and the large latte suddenly doesn’t seem like a great idea as her leg bounces and her phone lights up again with another text, another apology she supposes, even though their disagreement had been no big deal at all. It was no secret he hated Josh and her best friend felt the exact same way, she just… didn’t care.

She bites down on her lip as she looks up again, only to find he’s looking at her, forcing her to quickly look back down at the scribbles she’s made on the page. It takes everything inside of her just to focus on the paper instead, even though her eyes keep flicking to the way he’s ferociously scribbling down on his own paper. Suddenly she’s right back to where she had been three weeks and four days ago, those hands on _her_ and she wants to shake herself because this is absolutely not who she is and she absolutely hates his stupid hands as her eyes wander up to the way the material of the shirt seems to tighten around his upper arm. She takes a breath, feeling the way it gets caught in her throat, her cheeks reddening impossibly more.

It’s overwhelming relief when people start getting up from their seats, signalling that the nightmare is over, trying to focus on packing away her things, biting down on her lip when there’s shoulders brushing against hers, “You know, for someone who claims to hate me, you sure can’t exactly focus over there.“

She can feel the smugness in his tone, their eyes meeting when she looks up at him and he’s smirking at her, just in the way she expected, his shoulder against hers and his eyebrows raised. “Shut up.” It’s weak but it’s all she can manage to get out, scrunching her nose up, resisting the sudden childish urge to stick her tongue out at him so she can instead, glare at him, throwing everything in her bag with a huff before she stands up.

Howie catches up to her with relative ease, a massive grin on his face as he does, “You can borrow the notes when I’ve typed them if you want, I don’t think the hearts you drew all over your page will help you when it comes to finals.”

“I didn’t—”

His laugh cuts her off, his eyes sparkling in a way that makes her roll her eyes but somehow, despite herself, she’s smiling at him as they walk through the busy corridors, “You’re an idiot.”

“… so you don’t want my notes?”


	4. Chapter 4

Maddie knows that Doug is her sort of boyfriend, kind of—like one of those things that she knows she should let go of but for some reason, can’t completely say goodbye to. She doesn’t exactly know what she’s waiting for but Doug was—well, she knew him and she knew her parents would approve of him And really, if she wanted a peaceful life, is there anything else she needed to look for in a man?

She already knew the answer to that question and it wasn’t the kind of thing she wanted to void out loud, knowing exactly how ridiculous she sounds without the added eye roll of her best friend to add into the mix.

Besides what she _knows_ to be fact and what she knows to be a load of crap anyway, it’s not Doug (her kind of sort of not really boyfriend) that she texts when everyone decides to go to another college house party. She’s just glad that Josh, her roommate and best friend, is planning on getting laid that night so she won’t have to put up with his smirk or raised eyebrows every single time Howie texts her or she bumps into him at the coffee shop on campus. It’s barely a love triangle when she really only has feelings for one person but for some unknown reason to her, refuses to act upon it and still doesn’t say no to Doug when he comes calling.

Maddie grins when she opens the door, trying to act as though her full face of make-up and perfectly braided hair alongside the brand new pyjamas she had treated herself to, is just how she spends every Saturday night. Completely natural, no effort put in at all. Her heart skips a beat when she’s staring at him, his black hair a complete mess, a light stubble on his chin that makes her flush when he presses his lips against her cheek as he steps inside. It’s endearing, the fact that he had come over in stripped pyjama bottoms and their college shirt that’s about three sizes too big for him and he looks warm and comfortable and she already wants to kiss him and it’s been all of two minutes.

Wonderful. She’s fallen hard and fast and she’s still so completely in denial because her parents have… _views_ that she doesn’t agree with but she knows she has to play nice until she graduates college and finds a job as far away from them and their toxicity as she possibly can.

“I brought Chinese food, I wasn’t too sure what you liked so I kind of brought everything—” He shrugs as he holds up three plastic bags full of stuff and she decides not to comment on how much that must have cost because at least they’ll both have leftovers for the next few days. “Got some beer and a few movies for you to pick from.” Maddie finds herself smiling as she steps forward, still not sure why she had invited him over in the first place but not regretting it for even a second.

Especially not when he’s looking at her the way he is right then and his head tilts to the side and he’s doing this side smirk thing that causes a tension in her stomach that she simply cannot ignore as she moves a little closer to him, enough to brush her body against his under the pretence of grabbing a beer. She enjoys the way his body tenses at the movement, and the way his breath shudders against the back of her neck before she pulls back. “I’ll grab some plates, you go make yourself at home.”

It’s cheesy but she can’t help but watch him walk away, chewing down on her bottom lip as she does before she grabs everything she needs and moves over to join him on the couch. It’s not lost on her how easy it is for her to sit next to him, their thighs brushing together as she watches him fuss over the remote. When Doug is over it’s usually more than a little awkward, not helped by the fact it’s accompanied by Josh shooting daggers at him the entire time (if looks could kill then Doug would no longer be a problem, that’s for certain). She sits on one end of the couch and he sits on the other and they usually spend the night staring down at textbooks and asking each other the odd medical based question by way of testing the other.

“How come you didn’t wanna go to the party?” He finally asks, as she takes a few spring rolls from the box he’s offering her, snuggling back into the couch before she shrugs her shoulders. Really, the last one she had been to was the one they had met at and whilst she feels somewhat grateful for it, it’s not something she’d like to repeat.

“Isn’t this a better way to spend the night?” She diverts the question with relative ease, shooting him a massive smile as she does before she pops a spring roll into his mouth with a giggle. “Besides, college parties have no food and I don’t know about you but I’ve been sleeping and studying all day.”

Howie nods his head in agreement, an arm sliding around her shoulders to pull her even closer into his side and it doesn’t feel at all possessive or uncomfortable as she moves instead to snuggle just a little more into him, picking up another spring roll, tearing it apart with her fingers before she tilts her head up to pop a piece between his lips. There is just something about him that she doesn’t quite understand – they can go weeks without seeing each other outside of a lecture theatre or even a silent smile across the library floor but when they finally do, it’s like no time has passed at all

It’s not like that with Doug, he’s of the belief that they have to see each other to truly feel anything, even when both of them are too busy. It’s why most nights are spent sitting across the table from each other and staring into a textbook, pretending as though they’re enjoying each other’s company because she’s sure, as much as she’s pretending, he has to be, too. At least… she hopes. Unless, before they’ve even started properly dating, they’ve already fallen into the married couple part of the relationship.

Howie can make her laugh with a single text, he can make her smile simply by looking at her and as much as she tries to tell herself it’s not the right time to be in a relationship with anyone because she’s in college and she’s working her ass off to be the best she possibly can be, Josh – her brutally honest best friend – likes to remind her that if she has the time to be seeing two guys at the same time, she most definitely has time to commit to one of them. And whatever, Josh is right because he always is and he isn’t even really met Howie yet but apparently he has a bad feeling about Doug that hasn’t passed since the two men had a massive bust up over… _something_ so stupid she can’t actually remember what it was.

“You’re right, this is much better than a party.” His voice is low as his fingers run through her long hair and she finds herself looking back at him and she wants to kiss him. She _really_ wants to kiss him but she doesn’t trust herself to be able to stop doing anything beyond that. Especially not when she thinks of their first night together and her body feels as though it’s heating up just at the thought, so she pulls back enough to grab a box of whatever it is she can grab from where she is. “It’s nice to have a break, too, I swear—learning about business is probably more boring than actually trying to go into business, I hope because every single day it feels as though my mind is numbing and—you probably don’t want to hear my problems. You love your degree and that’s great, I’m just… jealous, I guess.”

Honestly, whether it’s him complaining about something or him talking about something with passion and love, or just telling a joke, Maddie is entirely certain she could listen to the other man talking all day. So, she shrugs her shoulders and moves to snuggle back into him, suspecting that they weren’t really going to get much movie watching done anyway because she wants to know everything and anything there is to know about him. Something deeper than where he came from or what it was like growing up or his favourite places in LA. From what little she does now, she most definitely cannot imagine him walking around in a suit and tie for the rest of his life. “I want to hear anything you have to say.” She finally settles on saying out loud, not caring if it sounds cheesy or silly.

Howie takes a breath and judging by the look on his face, he’s trying to decide whether she’s being truthful or not, and he must decide she is because he nods his head before he talks, “It’s just not what I want but I have no choice because it’s what my dad wants and even though he has nothing to do with me, he’s happy to throw money my way as long as I’m doing what he wants me to do. As long as I’m the kind of son he can be proud of but the most fun I have is writing notes in Anatomy class and that’s not even for me.” He shrugs and takes a breath, “I want to tell him to fuck off and drop out and find something I love but—”

Maddie knows that feeling all too well, she’d dreamt about it enough – just seeing the look on her parents face but unfortunately, all she had ever wanted to be was a nurse and she needed a degree for that and to get a degree, she needed her parents. Or rather, she needed her parents to pay the tuition so she could get away from them the second she graduated without sounding ungrateful. “Maybe you should stick it out until you find the thing you love. Or swap majors and don’t tell him.” She shrugs, not even certain that it’s a possibility but he lives in Korea, what were the chances of him noticing? It’s not as though he sends the money directly to the college based on previous conversations they’d had.

“Won’t he notice when I don’t come out of this with a business diploma?” He laughs but his lips move to her temple and she wonders if he really is considering it, before he sighs, “Maybe I’ll just stick it out until I can find something I love. How hard can that be, right? I know I want to help people, I want to make a change, I want to—be different from my dad and show him that money doesn’t mean happy but—I don’t know what the hell I’m meant to do. I’m twenty-one, how am I meant to know?”

She nods, mostly because she knows it can be hard, she’d just gotten lucky knowing what she had wanted to do for as long as she had because she can remember the time she had broken her arm when she was ten and the nurse that had seen to her had been so amazing. All Maddie knew she wanted to do was to help as many people as she could. “You’ll figure it out, I know you will, there’s still time.”

He’s looking at her in a way no one ever has before, as though somehow she holds all the answers and even if she didn’t, he’d listen to whatever it was she had to say. His eyes are bright and his smile even more so and she knows he wants to kiss her, she can sense it, diffusing the moment by practically shoving a forkful of noodles in his mouth with a laugh, their eyes meeting as her cheeks flush and she quickly looks away. “Are we seriously watching James Bond again?”

She can hear him chewing for a few seconds before she turns to him, his eyes wide as he shakes his head, swallowing the food before he talks, “This is Goldfinger which is _completely_ different from the one we watched a few weeks ago, thank you.”

“Looks the same to me.”

“Oh my god, you need a serious education in movies—” There’s a fake annoyance in his voice, the kind that makes her giggle before she snuggles a little more into him, enjoying the warmth of his body and the way his hand brushes up and down her arm, making her smile because she doesn’t think she’s ever felt so content in her entire life.


	5. Chapter 5

There are plenty of seats in the library. That’s her first thought when Howie moves to sit across from her and Doug with a knowing smirk on his lips as he does. Josh is just a few seats away and she can practically feel his stare as her cheeks redden and she tries to stare down at the book. All she can think is that it’s a good thing she isn’t actually seeing either of them because she would be the worlds worst cheat. No one has even said anything and she already wants the world to swallow her whole so she can avoid whatever the hell is about to happen.

She shifts awkwardly in her seat, forcing a smile on her lips when Doug says something as he points at the textbook and she’s sure it’s relevant and really interesting, maybe but she feels as though she can’t catch her breath. Maddie looks up for just a second, catching Josh’s eyes who looks as though he’s doing a terrible job of trying not to laugh.

It was meant to be a quiet study period ahead of finals and yet, there she was, squirming in her seat, wondering if someone just turned the heating on in the place. She takes a breath, trying to ignore the burning in her chest as she does. Howie knew about Doug and that she was sort of seeing him but not really committed to the cause but she’d never mentioned Howie to Doug. It seems as though the universe (with Howie’s help) has decided to end that secret today.

Maddie tries to focus on the words in front of her, forgetting what she was meant to be studying. It’s been a few days since she had last seen him and they had—well, they had a _night._ Which, whatever, it wasn’t cheating, it was just… exploring other options. Or rather, just one option in particular. It’s not a well kept secret that Doug sees other people, so she doesn’t know why she hasn’t mentioned Howie to him before. Probably because she blushes whenever she says his name out loud and giggles whenever Josh says his name, so… _yeah._

Doug asks her… _something_ and she finds herself looking up at him, a confused look on her face as she chews down on her bottom lip. She hadn’t been able to hear him over the sound of her blood pulsating in her ears, her head spinning and she knows that should tell her everything she needs to know. There is no choice, there’s a very clear winner and it’s not the man sitting next to her.

“Tomorrow.” It’s not her voice that answers whatever question Doug had been asking her, but instead, the sound of Howie across the table, her head snaps over to look at him, watching as he sheepishly shrugs his shoulders. “Maddie has tomorrow off clinicals.” He repeats, as though the answer was obvious and she has no idea what game he’s playing but clearly she wasn’t going to answer the question anytime soon.

It’s the frown on Doug’s face, followed by the tilt of his head as he looks Howie up and down, that causes her to gulp down the lump in her throat and try to compose herself. Josh’s snort of uncontrollable laughter distracts her for a millisecond before she finds herself looking between the two men she had gotten herself involved with. One man who her parents would approve of and the second who… _she_ approved of.

“Who the hell are you?” She grimaces at the tone of voice, throwing her head in her hands as she lets out a groan. This was awkward, quite possibly the most awkward situation she had ever been in since her brother’s best friend, seven years her junior, had asked if he could take her to the prom and she’d had to let him down as gently as she possibly could. She’d thought that would be as embarrassing as her life could possibly get but no, there she is, in college and suffering the worst, most embarrassing experience of her twenty years.

“Howard Han.” It doesn’t answer the question that Doug so clearly meant, but he’s grinning like he’s having the best time ever and she doesn’t know whether she wants to kiss or slap him as she realises she needs to say something soon or Josh is going to take great pleasure in saying it for her.

“He’s a friend.” She finally manages to get out, each word breathy, “Well, more than a friend. We hang out.” That explains nothing but she’s sure the look on her face and the flush of her cheeks explains everything because Doug is nodding his head as though he’s trying to decide what to say. She’s not stupid, they’ve known each other a few months and they aren’t exactly setting the world on fire. He buys her beer and gets her into clubs, drives her home from the hospital sometimes.

He’s slow to nod his head, “Right…” He obviously doesn’t know what to say, or rather, he knows what he wants to say but can’t say it because that’s not what they are and he can’t exactly preach what he doesn’t do himself. And then he’s packing up his stuff, without even looking at her and she dares herself to look over at her best friend who seems to be filled with nothing but joy at the cringiest situation of her entire life. There’s a look on his face she can’t quite decipher, gulping as he moves over to the other side of the desk once his bags are packed, watching as he holds out his hand, “May the best man win.”

Howie smirks, slapping his own hand against the taller man’s when he stands up, “Absolutely.” And then Doug is gone, and Josh is quick to take his seat as she slams her forehead against the open textbook.

“Told you this would happen. Are you gonna let them fight it out or are you going to put one of them out of their misery?” He has that scandalous tone to his voice as he whispers to her, a grin on his face and sure, this is the most exciting thing to ever happen to her but she would rather be on the outside looking in, not in the midst of the impending storm.

“Shut up.”

“Ooh, I say we let them fight. My money is on Howie, he’s little but I bet he’s strong and he looks like he’d play dirty.” There is far too much excitement in his voice, akin only to when he’s watching one of his many soap dramas on the television screen. “Why can’t I have two handsome men after me?”

“I hate you so much.” She can’t believe she had met him on the college tour and had become firm friends with him ever since. Josh had been there for everything and she loves him but right then, she kinda wants to slap him, even though she had been the one to get herself into the mess in the first place. Maddie moves to stand up, quickly packing up her books, realising that studying was not going to get done anytime soon, glaring at Howie when he moves to walk next to her, easily taking her bag from her shoulder as he does.

“Let me take you to lunch.”

“I think that’s the least you owe me.” Still, she’s grinning anyway, nudging her elbow into his side as they walk, sticking her middle finger up at her best friend when he wolf whistles behind them. The entire thing is embarrassing, sure, but worst things have happened to better people so she tries to shrug it off as Howie opens the door for her with the biggest grin on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Just thought I’d introduce myself to the guy, seize him up, I’m feeling pretty confident.” She knows him well enough to know that the words that fall from his lips are a cover, slipping her arm around his waist once they get to the bottom of the steps, fresh air hitting their faces as Maddie takes a deep breath.

“Yeah, well, you should be.” She tilts her head up to look at him, smiling when she realises he’s smiling right back at her, an arm wrapping around her shoulders as he pulls her into his body a little closer. “I’ll talk to him, it’s not like we were ever dating. It’ll be fine.”

“And then I can ask you out on a real date.”

She grins, “I’ll talk to him tonight then, sooner the better.” Besides, she never did do what her parents approved of, anyway and what they didn’t know, didn’t hurt them.


End file.
